Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Bad Mommy Scares Children


"This is a picture of me at a Halloween party with my daughter and her friend. This was shortly before I began to get the feeling that not everyone appreciated my elaborate face paint. First, it was the funny looks from the other moms, all of whom, without exception, were dressed as witches. Not scary witches. Generic witches with pointy black hats and black or purple dresses. Their looks askance didn't bother me too much. I thought, Maybe they're jealous because their costumes aren't as interesting. 

"It was when three-and-a-half year old Romeo saw me from across the room and collapsed in tears on the floor that I thought, Hmm. Maybe I've overdone it a bit. When little Charley Mae, not yet two years old, began to visibly shake from the safety of her mother's lap, and yell, summoning her limited vocabulary, "GO 'WAY! GO 'WAY!" I had to face facts. I had seriously misjudged the situation. I had gone too far. These mothers were looking at me, not with envy, but with justified concern. I was scaring the children."

That's an excerpt from an essay I wrote, The Other Mother, and posted on my blog, Advanced Studies in Inner Work, in 2009. I reposted it last Halloween, and am posting it again this year with some additional follow up thoughts. 

Now, if you've ever actually really scared a child, you know it doesn't feel good. For example, I have a friend who found himself outside his living room window one night after taking the trash out. He saw his young son inside, playing, completely unaware that he was being watched. In an impulsive moment, he thought it would be funny to press his face up against the window, thus distorting his features in a ghastly way, and knock. His child looked up, turned white as sheet and then broke down sobbing helplessly. It took more than a few minutes to restore the child's central nervous system to health. The horror! For the dad!  Right? 

It's difficult to explain what I think happened on the Halloween of my embarrassing miscalculation, but I do mark it as the moment Bad Mommy was born, and I wanted to share the memory and the essay itself as a way of saying 1. Happy Halloween! and 2. Have you ever scared the crap out of your child accidentally? Please share. Finally, 3. Do you have a costume idea that would pay some homage to your worst fears of what you could be if you were the worst mom ever? (Drunk, mean, scary?)

8 comments:

  1. Sandra Marlow Ha! Romeo and Charley Mae had it coming.
    October 29, 2013 at 7:11pm · Unlike · 1

    Palma Sabina Repole I loved that essay and I LOVE your face paint! You are a spectacular original Mick! plus, Elva looks totally at ease. Hope the other mothers recovered
    October 29, 2013 at 7:18pm · Unlike · 1

    Jamia Weir hahaha...this is amazing. love it Mick!!!!
    October 29, 2013 at 8:32pm · Unlike · 1

    Palma Sabina Repole Maybe you should have just smiled a little? you know, lighten the face of death up a bit for the kids.
    October 29, 2013 at 8:34pm · Unlike · 1

    Beth Picone notice Vivian was right next to you!!! glad I got to contribute in a small way to the birth of bad mommy! now off to put on my witches costume
    October 30, 2013 at 5:11am · Unlike · 1

    Jennifer Bryant Can't wait to put the chillins to bed and open up the latest issue of Bad Mommy.
    October 30, 2013 at 6:54pm · Unlike · 1

    Jeanette Yoffe You go mommy!
    October 30, 2013 at 8:55pm · Unlike · 1
    Mick Kubiak

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sandra Marlow wrote:
    Ha! Romeo and Charley Mae had it coming.
    October 29, 2013 at 7:11pm ·

    ReplyDelete
  3. Palma Sabina Repole wrote:
    I loved that essay and I LOVE your face paint! You are a spectacular original Mick! plus, Elva looks totally at ease. Hope the other mothers recovered
    October 29, 2013 at 7:18pm

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jamia Weir wrote:
    hahaha...this is amazing. love it Mick!!!!
    October 29, 2013 at 8:32pm

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beth Picone wrote:
    notice Vivian was right next to you!!! glad I got to contribute in a small way to the birth of bad mommy! now off to put on my witches costume

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jennifer Bryant wrote:
    Can't wait to put the chillins to bed and open up the latest issue of Bad Mommy.
    October 30, 2013 at 6:54pm

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jeanette Yoffe wrote:
    You go mommy!
    October 30, 2013 at 8:55pm ·

    ReplyDelete
  8. Palma Sabina Repole wrote:
    Maybe you should have just smiled a little? you know, lighten the face of death up a bit for the kids.
    October 29, 2013 at 8:34pm

    ReplyDelete